Who's guilty for our crimes?
by polishkabbylover
Summary: It starts right after the finale and shows how Abby & Marcus deal with all the things they've done and now try to find a place in the world for them, which is not so easy.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Abby hugged Marcus very tight and put her hands into his hair. She knew exactly how he was feeling. She's been blaming herself ever since Clarke removed the key from her head. That's why she knew that words aren't needed now. Time for them will come. At this moment they need to silence themselves and just grieve about what they have done. They lasted that for a while until Marcus stopped sobbing and looked deeply in Abby's brown eyes.

-You should probably go...

-I know that what I did to you is unforgivable and I will never forgive myself. I truly understand why you don't want me near your side and you can tell me to keep away... But not today. Tomorrow will be a time for it. Now you need to rest and I have to clean your wounds before they get infected.

-I try to rebuild this world all the time but instead I'm just ruining everything. I am dangerous to everyone who tries to get closer. Even you...

The way he glanced at her was so overwhelming that a single tear began to run down her face, which she quickly wiped away.

-Don't even say that…

Abby raised her hands to gently touch his cheeks but stopped them millimeters away from Marcus's face. She hesitated for a moment and then lowered them with resignation.

-We will talk about it later. I promise. Now please show me your hands.

Abby pulled out her hands toward his to examine them but before she reached his hands Marcus had taken them away from her.

-I'm sorry… but I'm not sure I want you to look at them.

-You don't have to be sorry. I did this to you and you don't want me to touch you. That's it.

She felt like something just hit her in heart and tears started coming to her eyes. She didn't want to cry in front of him so she stood up immediately and looked for someone else to help. Jackson was standing close to her so she caught his arm and pulled him closer.

-Jackson please clean Marcus's hands.

-Why can't you do it?

-Will you do it or I have to ask someone else?

Abby felt anger coming into her body so she ran out of the room without getting Jackson's answer. She entered the first empty room she could find and after closing the doors she burst out with tears. She picked up the first thing that came to her hands and threw it across the room making a lot of noise. Abby leaned against the wall and closed her eyes trying to calm down. But that only made her feel worse cause in front of her appeared a view with Marcus on a cross. She slid off on the floor and covered her face with hands sobbing uncontrollably. After some time she heard someone knocking on the doors. Abby took three deep breaths and wiped her eyes.

-Come in.

Clarke repealed the door quietly.

-Mom? Are you alright?

There was no respond.

-Mom? Are you there?

-I'm here.

Abby stood up and showed up to her daughter.

-You feel okay? Any dizziness or something?

-No, I'm fine. I came to check on you. Did something happen? You talked to Kane and then you left so fast.

-I wanted to pull myself together so badly, you know? But I just…I just can't. I don't recognize myself anymore. Tell my Clarke, am I a good guy or am I a monster?

Abby started to starring at her hands. Clarke went closer to her mother and grabbed her hands.

-You're not a monster mom. This wasn't you, it was A.L.I.E.

-But it was me who put him on that cross, Clarke. How is he supposed to look at me now? He'll never do that the way he did. Not after what I've done to him.

-You care about him.

-I do...

Abby looked in her daughter's eyes to see how she'll react. But Clarke didn't do anything.

-I'm sorry, I should've told you earlier but I couldn't find a good moment. Besides I didn't know if you would like to hear about it. I know what you have felt since father's death.

-Mom it's okay. I want you to be happy. Is it something serious?

-Well... Before A.L.I.E I thought it was something real. But now... Clarke he didn't want me to touch him. And the worst thing is that I can't blame him for that because he's right.

-Mom maybe there still chance for you to be happy together.

-Maybe.

-You need to rest. I'll bring you some fresh clothes from my room. I hope they are still there. I'll be right back.

Clarke smiled and walked out of the room. Abby stood for a moment watching the doors and then made her way to the bathroom. Her daughter was right. She definitely needs to rest. Abby took off her clothes and turned the warm water to fall. She was standing in a shower for a long time. Her level of adrenaline was going down and she started to feel pain in her muscles and bruises on her neck, which she rubbed nervously.

When she walked out of the bathroom clothes which brought Clarke was waiting for her. She got dressed fast and decided to have some sleep. Abby laid on the bed covered with animal fur and closed her eyes when someone got inside her room without knocking. She was too tired to open her eyes again so decided to pretend she's asleep. It was probably Clarke, who wanted to check again if she's alright. Abby heard steps coming near to her and Clarke kneeled down next to the bed. Her hand gently touched Abby's cheek and a finger wiped off last tears which were coming down her face. But she realized that it wasn't Clarke's hand. It was too big to be hers. Abby slowly opened her eyes and saw Marcus.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

-Abby...

Marcus started to fondle her cheek.

-Clarke told me where you are. I need to explain myself. I don't blame you for anything. It wasn't you. I know you would never hurt me.

His voice was soft and quiet, almost like a whisper.

-But you said...

-You didn't let me finish there. I didn't want you to look at my hands because you would have started to blame yourself for what A.L.I.E did. And I don't want that.

He gifted her with fade smile.

-Marcus I'm sorry. I am so sorry.

Abby whispered and let tears fall again.

-You don't have to be. I'm the only one who's guilty here. I almost killed Bellamy. He's like a son to me and I almost killed him.

-Marcus it wasn't you.

-I wanted to hurt Clarke.

Abby looked at him with caution. His face was full of pain and horrible memories.

-But you didn't. Do you hear me? They're fine. They are just fine.

Abby wanted to comfort him and pulled his head to her chest. Marcus and Abby lasted in that position for a while.

-Marcus, can I ask you a something?

Kane raised his head to look at her.

-Anything.

-Why did you take the chip?

There was a long moment of silence.

-I'm sorry you don't have to tell me that if you don't want to.

-Oh Abby... I had to save you. Thelonius wanted to shoot you. I couldn't let him.

Marcus embrace Abby's face with his hands and lifted a little so he could meet her eyes.

-I care about you too.

He whispered so quiet she could barely hear his words.

-How do you...? Oh Clarke…

Abby laughed a little what made Marcus smile for a moment.

-Abby?

Marcus's face suddenly became very serious what Abby saw immediately.

-What's wrong? What happened?

-Can I…Can I kiss you?

Abby stared at him little confused but her cheeks blushed in a second.

-You didn't ask me for a permission last time, did you? So why are you now?

She smiled and gave him a look full of tenderness. Marcus touched gently her cheek and moved his finger along her cheekbone making her gasp a little. He moved closer to her and now his mouth was only a centimeter away from hers. Marcus slowly closed his eyes and mildly touched her mouth. His other hand caught her waist and rose her body so she was now on her knees. He pushed his mouth a little harder and Abby put her hands into his hairs. Marcus suddenly broke a kiss but only to go on a bed, where Abby had made him some place. When he settled on the bed she at once has pulled her mouth to his with a smile on her face. Their kiss was passionate but full of pain and tiredness from last weeks. They were forced to stop when they were out of air.

-Last time I kissed you like this and you pulled me away. What happened now? You're not consequent Mr. Chancellor.

She said it with charming voice which made Marcus laugh.

-You forgot I'm not a chancellor anymore. I stopped being one a really long time ago.

-Oh but you are one for me.

She kissed him in a cheek and lay on a bed. He looked at her with fake astonishment. She laughed.

-Oh really? You're inappropriate. We need to get some sleep. Tomorrow is another day and there will be a lot of things to get done.

Marcus lay next to her, grasped her hand and kissed it gently.

-Good night Abby.

When he woke up Abby had already left and he was lying in a bed alone. Marcus got up, brushed hairs with his fingers and made his way to the throne room. Inside there had been made temporary hospital under Abby's control. She was running amongst injured people trying to help all of them. He walked up and grabbed her arm.

-How can I help?

-There's nothing here you can do. I'm fine with just Jackson helping me but I heard Bellamy wants to talk with you. It's something important. You better go look for him. He just left.

-Okay I'll go find him.

Marcus left the room and Abby got back to examine another person. For the whole day they haven't seen each other much. Abby was busy with the patients and Marcus with Bellamy tried to find a way out of the building, what wasn't easy because of the broken lift and collapsed stairs. At sunset all the work had been done and they could finally rest. Thanks to Bellamy everybody were on the solid ground again. Polis started to live again. Abby has been sitting in a pub with Raven.

-I couldn't help Thelonius today.

-Why? What happened to him?

-Oh medically nothing serious but after everything what happened I couldn't even look at him.

-Abby his mind was taken by A.L.I.E just like our were.

-I know, I know. But he started this. It was he who came to Arkadia with this woman in a metal backpack.

Marcus saw Abby from the distance, came closer and stopped in a corner waiting for her to see him. But she didn't and continued her conversation with Raven.

-You can't blame him for that.

-Don't you think I know that?! But he wanted to hurt my daughter! I will never forgive him and I'll never forget that! She's my child!

Abby raised her voice but lowered it immediately.

-I'm sorry, I have to gather myself.

-Yes you do but now get up and smile. Marcus wants something from you.

Abby turned her face and saw Marcus's face now full of both pain and anger. He looked in her eyes and walked out of the room urgently. Abby sent Raven surprised look and ran after him.

-Marcus slow down!

Abby said breathlessly when she finally managed to reach his arm.

-Leave me alone.

He threw blankly and didn't even look at her.

-Marcus tell me what happened.

She started to worried and grabbed few wisps of his hairs to make him feel better. Instead Marcus aggressively turned around, approached his face to hers and said in angry whisper.

-I said leave me alone.

Marcus walked away and left Abby in the middle of the road with half-opened mouth.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Marcus was sitting under the cross on which he was crucified with almost empty now bottle of whiskey. Hairs fall down on his face and he was so drunk he couldn't move without crashing on the ground. Thelonius was passing by him but trying to be unseen. Unfortunately Marcus saw him.

-Jaha! Do you still have those keys to the City of Light?

-Kane you're drunk.

-Wait! I'll take the chip, really. And I will be happy alone, and without any pain.

Marcus was staring at the sky full of stars with unconscious eyes. Thelonius sat by his side and took away his whiskey.

-I want to rebuild the City of Light, Marcus. I didn't know you enjoyed it so much but if so I'll let you to be my first guest.

Thelonius whispered into Kane's ear and put the key into his pocket.

-That's brilliant!

Marcus yelled but in the next second fall asleep on Jaha's shoulder. In this exact moment appeared Abby who was heading into her tent. When she saw Marcus with Thelonius she stopped few steps before them.

-Thelonius you can go. I'll take care of him.

-Are you sure you can handle it yourself?

-Go.

She threw him sharp gaze what made him go right away. Abby kneeled down beside Marcus and fondled his cheek.

-What did you do to yourself...

She murmured under her nose. She breath in and out then tried to pick him up. Alcohol made his body flexible and he seemed to be much heavier than she expected. When she finally managed to pick him up she put his arm around her neck but hissed with pain. Abby forgot she still had painful bruises after she tried to hang herself. She didn't want to let Marcus fall on the ground so she was holding him very tight but couldn't move with him at all what was causing her a lot of pain. Fortunately Bellamy was crossing the street when he saw Abby and ran to her immediately.

-Let me do it.

Bellamy took Marcus from her.

-Get him to my tent. It's only few meters from here.

Bellamy put him on Abby's bed, she thanked him and he left without a word. Abby took off Marcus's jacket and shoes and covered him with one of her blankets. She decided not to sleep this night in case Marcus would wake up not knowing where he was. She sat in a corner and watched him attentively.

Marcus woke up with throbbing pain in his temples. He started to think what he was doing in Abby's tent. When he tied to stand up she appeared out of nowhere.

-Drink this.

She gave him a glass of water, which he took without even looking at her.

-Which part of "Leave me alone" you don't understand?

He asked roughly, drank all the water and went towards exit.

-Marcus Kane.

She said it with irritated voice.

-You're not gonna talk with me like this. Come back here right now!

Marcus turned away and sat on a bed.

-Good. Now tell me what's wrong.

-Nothing's wrong. Everything is perfect.

-Kane!

She yelled and Marcus shocked by hearing his surname in this way involuntarily looked at her angry face

-I said…

He started but Abby interrupted him immediately.

-So why you keep pushing me away?

Her voice softened a little.

-I know I've done bad things but after everything you said to me yesterday I thought at least you would not blame me.

-I'm not blaming you for anything.

Abby's face was now full of tenderness.

-Don't lie!

Marcus shouted what really scared Abby.

-I'm not lying.

-Yes you are.

-You said to me yesterday that you care about me so why don't you trust me?

-I heard you talk to Raven. You said you wouldn't forgive me.

Abby face looked surprised but also relieved.

-I wasn't talking about you, Marcus. It was about Thelonius.

But he didn't seem to be convinced so he got up ready to leave when she fast caught his arm.

-So that's it? You're just gonna walk away and don't talk to me ever again?

-I'm afraid you're right, Abby.

She looked in his eyes, closed her face to his and whispered.

-Then tell me you don't feel anything for me and I'll let you go.

Marcus lowered face even more and now his mouth was only millimeters away from hers. He felt that her breath started to speed up.

-I can't do that.

He whispered so quiet she barely heard him then touched her mouth gently and put his hand on her waist pulling her closer to him so now their bodies were united. Marcus turned his head and kissed her. Their kiss wasn't romantic or with tenderness. It was filled with aggression, longing and desire. Marcus suddenly broke the kiss but Abby wanted more so she held his head and pulled to her to reunite their mouths again. Marcus pushed her away.

-This thing between us is over.

Abby's eyes filled with the tears.

-Marcus don't do that.

-Goodbye Abby.

He fondled her cheek for a second and then left the tent.


	4. Chapter 4

_Two weeks later…_

Everyone were back at Arkadia and have been trying to rebuild everything what A.L.I.E had destroyed. Marcus and Abby haven't talked to each other since the moment in Polis. Their eyes haven't even met as they were working hard in the camp. Abby found a way which helped her to stop thinking about Marcus. She just threw herself into the work. She was now a temporary chancellor and a doctor. So she practically didn't sleep at all. Sometimes only took an hour nap on a couch in Medical. She was really tired but also lonely. Clarke decided to stay in Polis until Luna's arrival. Despite her exhaustion she wasn't planning to rest. Marcus took care of the guard and has been helping with technical stuff. At the end of the each day he's been closing himself in his quarters with a bottle of whiskey. He avoided talking to anyone about things other than the ones connected with his job.

-Abby you need to slow down.

-I'm fine Jackson. Just go back to your job.

-I order you to take a day off.

Abby look at Jackson surprised and started to laugh.

-You can't order me anything. I'm a chancellor and the chief of Medical. You have no power.

She turned to go back to her patient when Jackson stood on her way.

-Yes I have. I'm your doctor.

-Since when?

-Since now. And you're gonna listen to me or I'll inform your daughter. This choice belongs to you.

Jackson smiled with satisfaction. Abby took off her med kit, put in on her desk then threw him an angry gaze.

-Fine.

She left the Medical and headed to her room but she wasn't planning to rest. Instead Abby decided to focus on her chancellor's stuff and make up with the documents. She was working for two hours and was slowly falling asleep over the papers when she heard shouts outside. Abby ran off of her quarter and saw hardly injured guardsman.

-Get him to Medical! Now!

She shouted and ran before him to prepare everything.

-Abby what are you doing here?

Jackson asked and tried to get her out of there.

-Don't do this now! We need to scrub.

They've been in surgery for a long time.

-Crap, what a mess. What the hell happened out there?

-I don't know but he's lost a lot of blood and we need to transfuse.

-I'll go for a blood. What's his type?

-0 minus.

-Oh no… Abby we have no 0 minus left.

Abby looked at him astonished.

-You're kidding, right? He won't make it without it.

She'd been thinking for a while but finally got up with an idea.

-Okay we're gonna use my blood. I'm 0 minus.

-No. You haven't slept for weeks! You're exhausted. I'll find someone in a camp.

-Jackson we don't have time for this! Just take my blood and you can finish this alone!

Jackson wasn't fully convinced but did as she ordered him and then sent her straight to bed. When Abby got out of the Medical she felt quite dizzy but tried to ignore that. She saw Marcus who was sitting in a corner of the camp. His hair was a mess and his clothes were dirty. She stopped to look at him for a while but the view of him started to faint and then completely disappeared.

-Ms. Chancellor! Ms. Chancellor!

A little girl ran to unconscious Abby and gently shook her shoulder but she didn't respond. Marcus saw the girl from a distant and decided to check if everything is okay. When he was closer to her he noticed that the woman on a ground is Abby. He ran to her immediately and caught her face with his hands.

-Abby! Abby! Open your eyes!

No reaction.

Marcus picked Abby up and carried her to the chancellor's room where he put her on a bed. He kneeled next to her and gently put a hand on her cheek stroking it slightly.

-Abby wake up. Please. I'll do anything just open your eyes, I'm begging you.

On Abby's face appeared grimace of pain then she slowly began to open her eyes.

-Marcus?

She said quietly and tried to sit but she felt even stronger pain in her head. Marcus helped her lie again.

-What happened?

-You passed out outside the Medical and I brought you here. You don't remember anything?

-No… How long was I unconscious?

-About 10 minutes. You should get some sleep now. I won't disturb you any longer.

He got up and wanted to leave but Abby caught his hand.

-I think you said you would do anything if I wake up and… I'm awake so please… just don't leave.

-Abby I can't…

-You can't or… you don't want to?

She looked into his eyes.

-Okay, I'll stay with you but now sleep.

Abby listened to him and closed her eyes. She fell asleep almost immediately. Marcus wanted to take a shower and change his clothes but he was afraid she could wake up when he was out of her room. And Marcus didn't want to break the promise so decided to use Abby's bathroom then found his clean clothes in one of chancellor's wardrobe.

 _18 hours later…_

Abby slowly started to open her eyes and saw Marcus sitting on a couch with some documents, which occupied his attention.

-You're still here.

She said and sat up on a bed rubbing her face to wake up.

-Like I promised. I brought you some food.

-I'm not hungry. How long was I asleep?

-Well… over 18 hours. That's why you need to eat now if you don't want to pass out again.

Abby stood up and tied a pony.

-No, I really don't want to eat. Besides I didn't pass out because I was hungry. I gave blood to save my patient.

Marcus stood up immediately and looked at her astonished.

-You did what?! Are you insane?!

Abby sent him a shocked gaze.

-You don't eat, you don't sleep. You're exhausted Abby and you give your blood too?

-What do you want from me, Kane? It's my life and my choices. That's none of your business.

Abby was very irritated but Marcus wasn't planning to give up.

-Well actually it is! Because I don't want you to starve to death! So now eat the damn dinner!

-Don't you dare say me what to do! And you're not saint too! You think I don't know what you're doing every night in your room?!

Abby yelled.

-And in case you don't remember it was _you_ who left! You chose to walk away! Not me! You left me here alone! You think you can go and come back whenever you want?! You're wrong! Because I don't need you here anymore!

She looked right into his opened eyes.

-I don't _want_ you anymore! So just go!

Marcus took all his things and left the room without any word but threw her a sharp gaze which she ignored.


	5. Chapter 5

The days were passing without even a small talk but Abby listened to Marcus and started to take care of herself. Now she tried to sleep at least six hours and remember to eat often. When Kane saw her eating he always sent her a warm smile and she rolled her eyes then walked away. But finally it was impossible to avoid each other and work put them together again.

-Abby! We need to talk!

Raven yelled running into Medical.

-Quiet Raven, you're not alone here.

Girl looked around and saw at least a dozen injured. She smiled apologetically.

-Sorry. I was just about to make new radios for the guard but Kane said he doesn't have an authority to tell me how many they need.

Abby looked at her with surprise.

-What? That's insane. He always took care of everything connected with security.

-I know, he said he's not a chancellor and only you can give him an order.

Raven rolled her eyes on mentioning her conversation with Kane.

-So tell him I give it to him.

-Come on Abby. You talk to him.

-Why me? Just tell…

The girl was impatient and interrupted Abby.

-No! You're the chancellor and I really need to do these radios. Anyway, what's the problem? You're friends guys.

-It's not a problem. I'll talk to him today.

Abby turned around to get back to work but Raven didn't move. After a while she noticed her standing in the same position.

-What's more Raven? I'm busy.

-You have to talk to him now. I really must get these radios done.

On Abby's face appeared anger but she breathed in and out to cool down a little then took off her med kit, threw it into the corner and made her way to the exit. Behind her back Raven threw short "Thanks" but Abby didn't pay attention to that as her mind had been already thinking about Marcus and what she could say to him. She decided to act professionally. She spotted him in mess hall. He stood with his back to her.

-Kane!

She said with raised voice and Marcus lifted his head but didn't turn around to face her. Abby came closer to him.

-What the hell are you doing? You don't need my order with those damn radios! Just do what needs to be done!

Abby now was nearly shouting and the whole room was looking at them.

-Chancellor Griffin.

Marcus turned around and a smile appeared on him face.

-How about we move this conversation to your office, Chancellor?

He asked gently and caught her arm to lead the way. She broke free from his grip.

-Don't touch me. We can talk here, Kane. There's no need to go anywhere.

Abby was really pissed and his smiled face didn't help.

-Please, Chancellor.

Marcus emphasized _please._

-Fine.

Their walk to Abby's office was silent and he spoke first right after she shut the door behind him.

-So what can I do for you Chancellor Griffin?

She threw him a sharp gaze.

-I thought we were on first names, Marcus.

-I wasn't sure about our relation so I chose to be professional. I think you chose that too when you spoke to me with my surname.

Abby didn't look at his face and pretended to read some documents.

-Never mind. I need you to help Raven and stop behaving like that.

On Marcus's face appeared astonished look but his smile became even bigger.

-Like what?

-Like you're a child! "I can't do this", "I can't do that" or "I need Chancellor's order" just stop it and do your job properly so I don't have to…

He interrupted her.

-So you don't have to talk to me?

His face became more serious and she finally met his eyes. There was a moment of silence. After a while Abby spoke in low and slow voice.

-This is a professional conversation Marcus Kane. There is no place to bring our personal problems, which by the way in my opinion don't exist anymore.

She threw papers on the desk, went to open the door and waited for him to leave. But he didn't move at all.

-Don't exist? If you think so then look at me. Look. At. Me.

She lifted her head and looked in his wide open, dark eyes.

-Good. Now I'm gonna ask you to say the same thing you asked me in Polis.

Their gaze was holding and neither of them wanted to break it. Seconds were passing in silent.

-Tell me you have no feelings for me.

The painful silent was there again. Anger showed up on Abby's face.

-Get out.

-I'm not going anywhere without your answer.

She shut the door with all the power in her muscles and leaned against them. She spoke silently and with some difficulties.

-I care so much for you that it hurts.

On Marcus's face appeared a faint smile and he made one step forward her but she stopped him from making the next one.

-I said it hurts to have feelings for you.

-Okay, then we can talk about what happened, we can get through this together.

-I said… It _hurts._

She emphasized the last word, broke their gaze and went to sit on the couch and buried face in her hands. He went closed her, kneeled down and put his hand in her hair.

-Please don't touch me.

She whispered and he took his hand back.

-Abby… I never meant to hurt you.

Now he was whispering too. She took hands off her face and met his eyes.

-You broke my heart. You meant to do this.

-I did it to protect you and I can promise you that I will fight for you. I will fight until I succeed or die.


End file.
